Finally the inevitable has arrived

Finally the inevitable has arrived.

After suffering four and a half years of chronic pain, multiple different meds, and doctors. And now unable to get medication, I have taken the next step. Buying my meds, referred to as drugs from now on, off the street, illegally.
I feel I have no other choice but to do this. My Doctor has been great, but there is nothing he can do.
I now do not have my doctor who can treat me the right way, and must rely on myself to control my own use. I know this will end bad, but I am not living another day in the pain I am in. I have not taken this decision lightly.
So far all has gone well, acquiring and self adminstration my drugs. Hopefully I will get a year or two of being able to work before the inevitable happens.
I can walk properly, I am now sleeping.
I am 29, I used to work as a chef, I am type one diabetic, I only weigh 132 lbs. I know the risks.
I don’t condone this method of action, and hope you all can find a better why to relieve your pain. I have lost all hope in being treated.
Thank you for your time, wish everyone the best.

20 Responses

  1. Is there a black market, for the truly LTCPOT patients to get there meds? I know this is HIGHLY ILLEGAL,but I don’t want to die from the suffering I go thru and the titration is going to be the death of me. I’m loosing the will, the strength , and now very afraid . Just a question , as I slowly become crippled, and so frustrated with everything,I think I am loosing my mind . My family’s at a loss, and are giving up there freedom for me. This in itself makes it that much worse. If I was an animal the doctors would say , its time for the silver sword , and over the rainbow I would go, thanks for my rambling thoughts and comments, fear not tomorrow another day of HELL

    • There is no designated market for ain patients that have been tortured and screwed over by their own nation and fellow citizens, but a lot of them have found their way to the dark web. Law enforcement made a fuss over taking down Alpha Bay a few months ago but that is just their typical running at the mouth pretending they are accomplishing something. they didn’t even slow business down much. There are plenty of markets out there, and they’re safer and more reliable than street drugs. Its hard to find organized groups to learn the markets or discuss it simply because its too risky. People would get caught quickly if a large group formed for that purpose..I have a family member with chronic pain from a severe injury 20 years ago. I think about this a lot and I will not allow him to suffer so much he commits suicide. If that happens, it will be after I’m dead and can’t do anything about it.

  2. Well I have to say I’m right behind you!! It’s going on 2 yrs now that they cut my meds.That’s 2 more years of my life wasted in pain on a couch.I will do the same as your doing. Really pisses me off I have to “chance” my life because they won’t give medicine out. I’m spiteful when it comes to this,only because it’s idiotic moron’s doing this.Like the ole saying “eye for an eye” Maybe then they will wake up,but I doubt it

  3. Have you tried kratom? Its been a miracle for me. I take it instead of norco and it works amazingly well. Research the science on it and don’t fall for the media stories, they aren’t correct. The American Kratom Association has lots of info. It beats street drugs.

    • Doesn’t work for everyone. I’m glad you found, relieve with it. I know the other hand did not. Tried multiple kinds and multiple combinations did nothing.

    • I believe Kratom was created by Andrew Kolodny, who started this
      CDC nightmare about opioids. They are investigating this drug right
      Now.

      • If he created it, what are the people in Vietnam and other nations in that region using? I have no idea if your theory is correct or not. I’m not that interested in kratom but I have read its history. Its supposedly a traditional medication that goes back generations in such nations. I’ve never met anyone that was helped by kratom in the slightest so I dont pay any attention to it.

    • did nothing for me either

  4. Well no one said ya have to swallow the whole thing. I would chip off the tiniest flake to start for every pill. *I don’t know where to get them and I aint gonna ask either.*
    Then the only worry is if it is an opiate or a poison. If Doctors of Medicine, like Dr. Ibsen, do not stand up, like he has, en masse, this won’t happen like we hope – with just our internet efforts. I throw behind Red Lawhern. DPPR has taken the Kratom effort up now. I am not saying it doesn’t do what they say it does. But it is still largely illegal, NO ONE had heard of it and ‘addicts want it’. I would say steering away from OPIATES ONLY will kill any group no matter how big.

  5. What a sad state of affairs.
    While I’m vexed by this,
    I’m no longer surprised, and my adrenals cannot manage the outrage.
    I do what I can still,
    I serve the patient in front of me, and I advocate for restoring the sacred physician patient relationship.
    I bless this person, with them well, and I pray that those who need relief invent a parallel shadow medical program to care for them the way we used to.
    God bless us every one.

    • When there are 10k in DPPR and 17 show for Claudia’s YOUTUBE live stream, or 36 for “The Doctor’s Corner with Dr. Kline” it is not your full burden anymore. You have been measured and have been found SUFFICIENT 🙂

      • There are almost ZERO comments at the Youtube live streams of the J&J trial. I was commenting my head off but no other, except someone asking if I was there paid by J&J, heh.
        I know the legal speak can be unbearable for some and many work. It was a grand opportunity to get into folk’s ears. I erased all of my comments because I kept saying there were 50 million of us. It just looked like we were crackpots, me there all alone. My back is bad but I haven’t been injected or fused, I DO need the medicine. But the pain folk are just too thread bare to scour this pot.

        • I had no idea there was a live stream,,,Furthermore I wish the 2 others u speak of on u-tube advertised more,,,I would watch em,,,,,maryw

        • The surgeon general feed didn’t fare so well. It got hammered by patients on Independence Day.

          We’re out here, but not burning up limited bandwidth. Can’t get a lot of feet to the street.

          But we can reply to the SG.
          As hundreds did already.

          Add to it.
          Share it.
          ACT UP.

          • Mr.Randell,,,how do I get on that surgeon generals site please??thank u,,maryw

          • If I act up much more, I’ll be in jail! Scary!

          • I heard two sentences from that puppet ‘General’ and had to turn off. He is a broken record parroting the false narrative, with only mandatory mention of the real issue, the abandonment of the severe pain patients.

        • That a different feed than one news media is doing? Have been watching bits,but there is no “commenting” on that site..Will search for feed tomorrow..

        • I don’t use Youtube because the second any video starts drawing attention the MGTOW, redpill, alt-right groups, and other nutcase trolls swarm it. they’ve ruined YouTube. Are there any other platforms hosting the video?

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