I can so relate to the situation that a daughter/son/husband/wife can encounter with a loved one in a healthcare facility (hospital, physical rehab, nursing home, etc, etc). More times that I wish when Barb has been in a facility and I have had to bring into the conversation that ” I’m am a Pharmacist” to get the attention of the staff that are suppose to be attending to her health needs and they are NOT DOING THEIR JOB ! Unfortunately, not every first contact with the facility’s staff gets results, but those staffers tend to under estimated my tenacity. I really don’t care how many times I have to take my concerns to someone above the person I am talking to. Generally, at sometime going up the corporate ladder someone is going to get pissed that my concerns have gotten to their level and the person under them did not take care of my concerns about inadequate care being provided my wife.
To get proper care for my mother, did I really have to tell everyone I’m a doctor?
https://www.medpagetoday.com/blogs/kevinmd/85249
I believe in the practice of medicine and enjoy teaching others this amazing art. However, after experiencing nine months of interactions through medicine as the daughter of a sick patient, I struggle with my pride in the profession and fear of the healthcare system.
My mother would proudly tell all her physicians that her daughter was a doctor. I knew she was proud, but I didn’t believe in using my title to change the care she received. That belief changed when she became sick.
The first time I exploited my title, senior specialists at another hospital tried to perform a procedure and weren’t successful. Upon arrival at the new hospital, my mother politely asked the ICU residents not to attempt the procedure without the attending in the room. The residents glibly responded, “we are the A team – and he’ll be out there.” When they didn’t listen, she looked at me with fear. I walked out and spoke with the attending. I said, “I am a doctor, and I train residents. Your residents aren’t listening to their patients.” After my explanation, he stopped what he was doing, unsuccessfully attempted the procedure, and came up with a different plan that prevented my mother from having additional pain.
When discharged from the hospital, the physician team did not know how to help us obtain sufficient home healthcare. I called a friend, a physician leader in the organization, and found she could help us. She knew the keywords to say and who to ask for. This personal, professional connection allowed my mother to immediately have home health.
I took my mother to the emergency room after I showed up to her house and found blood clots in the place of what she thought was diarrhea. I cleaned it up before we got in the car. I saw how much blood she lost. I personally provided the admitting resident her history. I knew her new medications and potential side effects. I knew her lab results from the previous week. I could do the math. Based on her new results, she lost the equivalent of 4 pints of blood in the past 4 hours, and she was still bleeding. The resident told me she didn’t need a transfusion. When the resident was not open to the idea of a blood transfusion, I used my title. I called her cardiologist on his cell phone and told him the situation. He logged into the medical system, and the next thing I knew, the transfusion had been started.
On my birthday, my mother rapidly decompensated. I was renewing my CPR license as a cardiac resuscitation was called. I arrived at the hospital, and the resident gave me basic information. My mother’s cardiologist used my title. He said, “No, she is a doctor. She deserves a more thorough update. You will keep her fully updated.” This resident tried, but I also received personal updates from the cardiologist.
So it continued. During every hospital visit, I mentioned my title to someone to ensure proper care or communication. My title was required to ensure the care my mother deserved as a patient.
In her final week, my mother suffered a massive stroke. I was coming to terms with the biggest decisions I made for my mother. It was time for her to officially change her status to DNR. I even had medical power of attorney forms in hand. I asked to sign papers to this effect and was told that wouldn’t be necessary. Knowing this wasn’t accurate, I used my title with the nurse to ensure I would receive an immediate call if anyone tried resuscitation. I signed paperwork to withdraw all care the next morning. The dialysis technician wheeled in the dialysis machine. I said, “No, she doesn’t need that. I have withdrawn care.” After several minutes of arguments, I finally said, “I am a physician, I know that I have the right to refuse.” Similar conversations occurred with the neurosurgeon, who was recommending aggressive medical management, the nurse who wanted to check her blood sugar, and the resident who tried to talk me out of the decision to transfer to hospice.
The final time I used my title, was when I asked the team to complete FMLA paperwork. I watched the resident quickly flip through the paperwork and called his attending, upset by the amount of work involved. He came back out and said, “Well, the family member has to complete this.” I responded, “Did you read this? The family section is complete. All you have to do is write her diagnosis here and that she was here in the ICU. You indicate unknown time.” He responded that he didn’t have the time to complete this form today. I asked him if he knew I was a physician, and he looked up startled. I said, “As an attending who teaches residents, I hope my residents never treat families how you just treated me. You just told me that you don’t have time to ensure that I can be by my mother’s side during her final days.” Trembling in anger, I walked away to the hospice unit. Although that resident did not help me, after sharing my story in the hospice unit, they ensured my paperwork was done within two hours of our arrival.
My mother had many healthcare interactions in her final nine months. I have no regrets for using my title to ensure the best care. I regret the necessity. I regret that a patient’s wishes weren’t respected and that she needed a physician daughter advocate. I fear for patients without physician daughters who understand the system or have colleagues who know code words. I regret that I carried my title of physician, and was not just a daughter, holding her mother’s hand in the final months of her life.
Santina Wheat, MD, is a family physician.
Filed under: General Problems
I lost my ‘mom one year and eight days ago. I and my wife were her care givers for over one year before she left here for a better place. What do we do as “non” physicians? We HAVE to trust our physicians but, as a pain management patient for over two decades, I have began to feel like a disposable human being. I and multi millions of others across the nation. It PI$$E$ me off!
When “mom’s” time came, Thank Goodness everything was in order. She passed peacefully at her home, while my wife and I were there. She was terrified to have to leave her home and be “cared for” in assisted living facility. I promised her decades ago if it were possible, and if I survived her, she would NOT have to leave her home. The practice of medicine now, in an emergency room situation or, even in a hospital now is now a dreadful thought to me but, sooner or later the physician “in charge” will have to be depended on.
I have noticed on almost every occasion that there is the public face of what health care “WILL DO” and then there is what is actually done. It’s called lying. Sometimes it is because of over-work, sometimes it is because of orders from the top and sometimes it is the seeking of ease or making more time for more money making. In all cases it is still lying. Unfortunately we have tolerated it for far too long and the ship has sailed. These patterns of conduct are second nature to almost every single employee in our health care.